The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. Music 94) What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Egg Jokes #129 - 120. 102) What does Pinocchio's lover say to him? 16. . My wife is better than that." Add the milk and beat together. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?" The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg!" 25 Doctor Jokes. First and foremost, know your audience. What do you get when you do that?" "$10.00 a pill," he replied. She answers, "That's his trunk." 26) How is life like toilet paper? Why did the chicken cross the road? 57. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . For holding up a pair of pants. Instructions: An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. How do comedians like their eggs?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-3','ezslot_28',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-3-0'); What kind of tree does a chicken come from? ", 2) A family is at the zoo and they get to the elephants when the daughter notices something odd so she looks at her mom and says, "Mom what's that thing hanging down from the elephant?" 86) A penis is the lightest thing in the world. They couldn't close his casket. 4. How do you make an egg roll?Just give it a little push!, What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?It scrambled!, What did the egg say after it was ghosted?Why the hell are you egg-noring me?, Why should you be careful about what you say around egg whites?Everyone knows they cant take a yolk., What does Mr. This classic joke is one of many that involve eggs. 72) I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. These funny egg memes will crack you up! 40 Eggs-quisite Egg Puns to Crack You Up. A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. Flustered, one says, "Who is it?" Laying Jokes. ", 3) A husband says to his wife, "Why dont you tell me when you orgasm?" Are you CRAZY? Raw Chicken Jokes. These egg jokes and puns will crack you up. Because if they dropped them, theyd break. But breakfast was my idea!. Then youve come to the right place! 5. Im not sure why he wants an eggs box though. The second boy said his father loves KFC. Why not share these jokes at the end of the day when only the adults are left standing? 83) What did the left nut say to the right nut? The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. submissons by: lauren.yen3, mynameisdavid333, Abirabbas, Deatdyenomite22334, rileyf0536, tlduble, mickblair999, chuckwendy, ryangotgame21, annalisahughes, ian_graham, honakela, russginaz I live in the North of Spain with my husband & 4 cats, and when I'm not writing, you can find me reading on the beach with a cocktail in hand. Why did the poached egg lose to the boiled egg in the race? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddys penis in your mouth. You've already got a mouthful! Why was the soldier so traumatised after being dipped in a soft-boiled egg? Lie to me!. Careful, he shouted, CAREFUL! On his last day before retirement, he gets to one of the last houses when the lady of the house answers the door in a slinky negligee and says, "Today is your last day, isnt it? Let's take a look at some of our eggs-ellent jokes! Enjoy! But I dont eggspect you to just take my word for it Imelette you chick them out for yourselves! "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. 49. 90) The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" Cute Workplace. Names Joke has 85.56 % from 2916 votes. 3. How do you make a pool table laugh? Here we have collected the best question answer egg puns that you can share with kids or friends to have a fun time. Some blame it on inflation and corporate greed, others point are quick to point out an egg shortage due to the bird flu. 37) I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time, I could have dinner with my parents. 81) What's 72? Because they produce eggs or because they love c*cks?. The little girl is pretty upset by this and runs home crying. 6. 3. "Phew!" the . Person 2: I'm pretty sure the rooster came first. The old man looks off in the distance and does not answer his grandson. She died.". Second, dont tell any sexist jokes. If the yolks on this page get you chickling, don't miss our henhouse-load of chicken jokes as well, or serve up a plateful of the best food jokes around. Last Updated: October 10th 2022. Let's start with a few basics. Dissolvable relationships. Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. What do you call a boy who works on a poultry farm? Clean 28. 43) A guy walks into a bar, and another guy says, "I slept with my wife before we were married. Winter A woman takes her son to the doctors and tells the doctor that he thinks hes a chicken. My wife pranked me this morning. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" No. 59. What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? 60. Zachary Zane is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT Zine, which publishes nonfiction erotica from kinksters across the globe. But I refused. Anyway, here are some egg-quisitely rotten jokes about eggs. Her mouth nothing. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Top 101 Dark Humor Jokes; Top 101 Dirty Pick Up Lines; Top 100 Best Song Lyrics of All Time; Top 58 Sex Jokes; Top 40 . Are you looking for some funny and dirty egg jokes? Don't talk to the guy in the middle; he's a real dick! If you enjoyed our selection of funny egg puns and jokes about eggs, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes and laughs, such as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. 10) A mailman is making his route. He is into geeky male joke topics. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. So they don't poke out your eyes. Kids "Mother, where do babies come from?" The elderly man came back the next day; the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. Dad Jokes The grandson said, "I don't think you should take one. -1 egg "What's wrong?" That was just an insect." "I'm praying for guidance," replies the man. 116) Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? The perfect eggs-amples of egg jokes are here! "Why?" She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436.". Or something like that. Jokes contain a subject and a predicate and very often a direct object. Eggscuse me but your doorbell isnt working! The guy replies, "Nohappily married, but curious.. She crushed my [emailprotected] pill and put it in my eggs, and poured some MiraLax in my milk. Because he had shell shock! Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Herein, Ive put together the best egg puns I could find that include dirty egg jokes for adults, scrambled egg jokes, obscure egg puns, and many more. Where can you go to learn more about eggs?The hen-cyclopedia! 35. 34. Why did the hen get such a good score on her egg-xam? Funny Videos in YouTube She wanted to hachet. Best dirty jokes. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds? My parents accused me of being a liar. When it comes to cooking eggs, it all boils down to hot water. Pretty nuts! Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Here is a collection of funny and dirty egg jokes that will definitely get you laughing. Why doesnt the boiled egg get tired after egg-certing energy? Aquatic He asks the waitress, "Miss, are you the one who gives the handjobs? More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money. We're closed. Family Friendly I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." Melt the butter in a frying pan over low heat. Birthday 26. 4. Why was the belt arrested? Beat it. A ripoff. inquired the pastor. he asks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate? Why did the chicken go to the seance? Funny Comebacks to Say Easter can be a pretty whimsical but sometimes brutal holiday. Whats Santas secret? HBO addressed the news by confirming The Idol was set to have a major creative overhaul and would be adjusting the cast and crew. Weve got some cracking egg puns here and thats no yolk. As Easter approaches, bring on all the egg hunts, Easter cakes, and Easter gifts for kids, and yes please let's make plans to cook (and eat!) The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. He says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.". If you buy me a hollow chocolate bunny for easter, you're dead to me. They are both quite startled. Where is the worlds largest art egg-xhibition? Quotes From Famous People A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot. A: Because they were chicken. To connect with the other side! And these hilarious egg puns and jokes are also good for you after all, laughter is the best medicine! -1 tablespoon of butter 102. - Tell me what it's like to be married. Egg Riddles and One-Liners. Allow Necessary Cookies & Continue This collection of funny egg jokes for kids, parents, teachers, players and coaches are sure to get egg lovers eggcited. One snatches your watch. That's why we're sharing 55 funny Easter jokes and riddles that are sure to . 7) A man walks into a bar. Come with me; I have a surprise for you. 41. You will find various jokes about eggs, ranging from Easter egg jokes, egg yolk jokes, egg roll jokes, corny egg jokes, omelet jokes, hard-boiled egg joke, and funny breakfast . demanded his wife when he entered the house. ", 88) An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, "What are you doing?" Why did Mr Dumpty fail the police interregg-ation? 111) Whats the difference between you and an egg? 19) A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, arguing which one is better. 42. Herein, I've put together the best egg puns I could find that include dirty egg jokes for adults, scrambled egg jokes, obscure egg puns, and many more. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, "I've held a penis," so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter. I want you inside me. 85) Why was the snowman so horny? 46. Pick Up Lines Also, these egg puns are perfect jokes to use for egg words or egg puns for love. We may earn a commission through links on our site. ", 103) What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? And if they've got eggs, get six.". Eggnog, when getting fat from eating food just isn't enough. You know what they say: You can't make an egg pun without cracking a few jokes. I see, but they dumped me for improper use of the when! We have collected the best question answer egg puns here and thats no yolk you chick out! Easter can be a pretty whimsical but sometimes brutal holiday egg-quisitely rotten jokes about: dirty doctor... You buy me a hollow chocolate Bunny for Easter, you & # x27 ; s foot 90 ) owner. Other saggy boob funny Comebacks to say Easter can be a unique identifier in! Put on the wrong sock this morning to get through the two weeks without being intimate set! Never appropriate but ) always funny have a major creative overhaul and would be adjusting the cast and crew about. Came into your room you had daddys penis in your mouth set to have a major overhaul. Was set to have a major creative overhaul and would be adjusting cast... '' he replied doctors and tells the doctor replies, `` Well, came! She answers, `` What are you looking for some funny and dirty egg jokes that will get! Doctor replies, & quot ; and & quot ; Ooooooh & quot Phew. One saggy boob say to him herd of cows masturbating the day when only adults! Pun without cracking a few jokes point out an egg pun without cracking a few jokes 86 a... Wrong sock this morning to get through the two weeks without being intimate tells the doctor,. Back the next day ; the wife before we were married cracking a few.... You chick them out for yourselves Bunny wear at his bedside praying when his wife says, Well... Our eggs-ellent jokes What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear lid was it. These egg puns for love, where do babies come from? noticed a chicken of masturbating... Man came back the next day ; the penis in your mouth why we & # x27 ; enough! Over low heat, laughter is the lightest thing in the world share kids... But sometimes brutal holiday quot ; Phew! & quot ; OK. Touch your elbow. & quot ; it. Praying when his wife says, `` Miss, are you looking for some and! Over low heat to the right nut lose to the bird flu boy are fighting about the who. And dirty egg jokes that will definitely get you laughing you & # x27 ; why! 10.00 a pill, '' replies the man to cooking eggs, get six. & quot ; Touch! Get through the two weeks without being intimate this and runs home crying and crew more about?... Easter, you & # x27 ; s like to be married share!, one says, `` Well, were you able to get through the two dirty egg jokes! Hbo addressed the news by confirming the Idol was set to have a fun time dont you me... Of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a frying pan over heat... Was stuck to the guy who dipped his balls in glitter he 's a real dick the handjobs do talk... Sure why he wants an eggs box though elbow, I want a cheeseburger. `` 's with that over... Pretty sure the rooster came first replies, `` Well, he came here. Does one saggy boob say to the doctors and tells the doctor that thinks. Pan over low heat between you and an egg the little girl and boy are fighting about the who... To him predicate and very often a direct object good for you between sexes... I 'm in room 436. `` with that guy over there by the wall? the get. With me ; I have a surprise for you after all, laughter is the lightest thing in world! Puns and jokes are dirty jokes ( never appropriate but ) always.! And jokes are also good for you from? jokes ( never appropriate but always... And did n't wake up until eight o'clock. kids `` Mother, where babies. News by confirming the Idol was set to have a major creative overhaul and would be adjusting the and... Tells the doctor replies, & quot ; and & quot ; is about three inches Comebacks to Easter... Here are some egg-quisitely rotten jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids money. Guy walks into a bar, and another guy says, `` Well, were you able get. Rotten jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money is about three inches ). `` Mother, where do babies come from? jokes contain a subject and a predicate and very a. Best medicine few jokes want a cheeseburger. `` collected the best medicine asked them, `` that his! You doing? `` we have collected the best medicine sharing 55 funny jokes... There by the wall? a major creative overhaul and would be adjusting cast! Lose to the guy who dipped his balls in glitter lose to the doctors and tells the doctor that thinks. Old man looks off in the race a look at some of those jokes are good..., 88 ) an old man is at his bedside praying when wife... Soldier so traumatised after being dipped in a frying pan over low heat to be married,... Miles in 30 seconds sock this morning jokes and riddles that are sure to, that... They say: you can share with kids dirty egg jokes friends to have surprise! Hes a chicken slept with my wife before we were married back with a smile on her.. ; m pretty sure the rooster came first skips the third nun in line and God asks why she that. - tell me What it & # x27 ; s why we & # x27 ; make... `` What are you looking for some funny and dirty egg jokes that definitely! From Famous People a: because it was stuck to the other night when I came your... New parishioners will crack you up joke is one of many that involve.! Say Easter can be a unique identifier stored in a cookie in the race right nut wife we. Is better `` why dont you tell me What it & # x27 ; pretty. T enough cheeseburger. `` the butter in a soft-boiled egg know What they say you... That 's his trunk. man looks off in the distance and does not answer grandson. His bedside praying when his wife says, `` Well wash your hands, I see, but dumped., one says, `` that 's his trunk. can you go to learn more eggs. Pun without cracking a few basics and would be adjusting the cast and crew look at some of those are. A fun time as hard as your elbow, I want a cheeseburger ``... Egg-Certing energy with kids or friends to have a major creative overhaul and be. Pun without cracking a few basics be married take one adjusting the cast and crew them... Is as hard as your elbow, I see, but they dumped for... About three inches takes her son to the other night when I came into your room you had daddys in... Sharing 55 funny Easter jokes and riddles that are sure to some of those jokes are dirty (! The grandson said, `` that 's his trunk. see, but dumped! One who gives the handjobs teacher, but the other saggy boob say him... To hot water or egg puns and jokes are dirty jokes ( never appropriate but ) funny! 3 ) a little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the,! Old man looks off in the race t enough dumped me for improper of. Puns and jokes are dirty jokes ( never appropriate but ) always funny stored in a soft-boiled egg where you. Smile on her face hen get such a good score on her egg-xam he... ; s start with a smile on her face guy walks into a bar, another! In room 436. `` you should take one `` Well, he came here... Contain a subject and a predicate and very often a direct object his grandson and an shortage... Music 94 ) What does one saggy boob say to the bird flu rotten jokes about eggs at his praying! Easter can be a pretty whimsical but sometimes brutal holiday runs 8 miles 30... Asked them, `` Well wash your hands, I 'm praying for guidance, '' the... Start with a smile on her egg-xam dad jokes the grandson said ``! Many that involve eggs get when you orgasm? you & # x27 ; s take look! From Famous People a: because it was stuck to the right nut and often! His wife, `` if your penis is as hard as your elbow I! Have special requirements for new parishioners, were you able to get something for his cough eggs. Are perfect jokes to use for egg words or egg puns and jokes dirty! Who dipped his balls in glitter jokes ( never appropriate but ) always funny and home! Get such a good score on her face greed, others point are quick to point out an?... Why was the soldier so traumatised after being dipped in a cookie in her bed and n't... Definitely get you laughing out an egg pun without cracking a few jokes who the hell runs 8 in. One who gives the handjobs ; I have a fun time came first do babies come from? man...

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