So I decided to set my boundaries and not bo. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Although a big step, when planned right and done with willingness, it is sure to make you one like never before. I was adopted at birth and met my biological mother and two half sisters 6 years ago (I was 38 at the time). It sounds like you're looking for reasons to feel jealous of the sister when the real issue here is that your man doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do. They text each other frequently and are always very happy to see each other. I spoke to them and went into the house to get dressed for the funeral. We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. You might feel he is biased towards his sister because he doesnt discuss his sisters personal life with you, but he does discuss your involvement with her. im not sure how to bring this up to him but he is very kind. Theresnever a time that we go anywhere without her. Be brave and be expressive. Teach him the need and requirements to make wise investments and save money. Now my brother -n -law passed away on a monday and his funeral was on the following Saturday. Shes not in a good mood, he explained to me. But, whats more disturbing is that he pushes you away from him when she enters the room. However, what they don't realize is that if you delete all your calls and texts it looks very odd. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. thank you and ive decided that i am going to talk to him and just see what he thinks. 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father. I'm also very worried about how my kids will deal with this. Keep reading and take notes wherever needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the most. He talks a lot about her. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. My husband would send her the pictures of us visiting various places and asks her to show it to his parents, but she never does that. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. 12. I dont see how any of this would help. You have your importance in his life, and she has hers. 10. In this poster's case, her ex-husband was renting and watching pornographic films with his sister. DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? So here . |. You may not know where you fit in. After spending time with you and witnessing your relationship with your relatives, he reached out to reconnect with his cousin. 12:44, 18 Nov 2022. You need to sit down with her and explain it to her.Understand the fact that in our society, there are men who rape women, even those who are connected by blood.So while you are right, you must make this clear to her too.If you do this with love, she will understand. If your boyfriend's allegiance t. As time went on, I noticed that my sister (and her husband and kids) still stayed pretty close to my ex. I would never sit on the couch and put my feet on my sister's husband's lap. She also seems to have found a kindred spirit in his ex. Your email address will not be published. At the end of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind. But, Im guessing that because they have no parents, and their family has abandoned them, that theyve developed a bond in which they are totally reliant upon one another, and they both fear abandonment. He knows I dont like dogs in the house. She is his rock, and his shelter. And, vise versa he is those things for her. Terrance Dean. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes. That'll go over incredibly well.. IMO, they were talking in the living room in a house full of family, so they werent exactly trying to be discreet. Her husband can do whatever he wants. She is 4 years younger than us, and that makes me think that I am just reading into this, however, I as a former 14 y/o know how they think and I dont always feel as though her intentions are necessarily in the right place. We are now officially adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer live with each other, but toagreewith them oneverything? You don't get a free pass. She would stare at us when we were snuggled up. Melinda never went out with any other friends other than her brothers. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. About. It can be that of a friend, sibling, filial, or lover. reader, benny boy+, writes (27 April 2010): A My husband says Im overreacting. They might have some mutuals, so she might be able to relate more to them than you as you are the new one here. Treat his sister as your own and love her all the same. Let no man come between and that includes his sister. Remember, theyve always been dependent on one another before you came into the picture. This means that it may be time to take a more in-depth look at your own feelings about your SIL and why exactly she triggers you so much. The problem isn't your job. These weird incest stories are coming back to this sub? Even when on vacation for work, he gets something from her while he might not always bring presents for you. Youve gone to your husband with your concerns. Ad network partners may be placing and reading cookies on users' browsers, or using web beacons to collect information as a result of ad serving on this site. She said that she hadn't found anyone suitable but gushed (I'm not kidding, gushed,like Meghan Markle over Prince Harry in the engagement interview) over how 'there would never be a guy moresuitedto her than herbrother.' I understand that you guys usually talk on a deeper level and share a lot of personal information. And, in that order! And if his parents try to test his resolve on an issue that you've already agreed upon, he should keep his response equally as short: "Mom/Dad, the decision has been made.". I mean I wrestle with my little brother sometimes but that's not the same as what you're saying LMAO. They slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that was normal for them. After everyone had left, I started to get ready for bed. Is their father in their life? Sign-up for #YIC Newsletter. Get confessions in your inbox. Jack was so supportive of Melinda and everything that she did. At the last family dinner, he was playing footsies with her under the table. We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. He has no traces of calls or texts on his cell phone. I come from a family who is not touchy feely at all, although we love each other immensely, we don't see the need to show that love through touch. Im not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. The answer is yes. Honestly, if your man compares you to anyone else, it's a terrible sign of a very, very unhealthy relationship. Yes it is kind of weird if i'm being completely honest but does he ever talk to you about how much he is contacting his sisters or is he just texting them all day . Ask your husband if he wants to seek counseling, therapy, or a marriage counselor to get to the root and issue of his relationship with his sister, and how it is affecting your marriage. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes, My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. You both will get relaxing time to spend together. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. So long as they're not full-on incestuous, then you should think of it as something that one or both of them will grow out of. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. So, I feel like doing just that. 7 Comments. Cook your hubby his favorite dish with aromatic flavors and make him fall for you all over again. So, I got upset because I think I realized that he will never be the husband I need him to be because I feel he doesnt contribute to our marriage. Add your answer to this question! This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. I am not saying that this is healthy, but it is essential to empathize with your husbands experience if you want to get out of the stuck, frustrated, angry place in which you now find yourself. female So, married or not, he is not going to let his sister go. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; its off limits. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Nobody wants to be made fun of. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. That it was important to get Melinda on my side. |. I never saw them that close before, and it seemed like crossing a line. When she comes to visit she brings her dog. This can be via expression or gestures or simply by making love. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. And to find out. Lots of parents lay their babies on their chests. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never denies any of her expenses while trying to monitor and keep your expenditure under control. One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. Picture Perfect Poster Girl: Taylour Paige Stars As "Boogie's" Leading Lady, Must Be Niiiice: The Most Extravagant Valentine's Day Gifts Of 2023, UPDATE: Jesseca Dupart Denies That LisaRaye Found Out About Da Brat's Pregnancy Via Social Media, Your Weekly Helping Of Tidday Meats & Treats On The Gram, Cougar Chronicles! They are adults! Her . Also, all examples involving people or clients are hypothetical amalgams, not actual people. My wife found it disgusting and yelled at me for our behavior. I respect my brother. Bossip Video. Melinda was nice to me and they seemed quite close. Press J to jump to the feed. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. The "parent" partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. I went back in our room at that point and I've been reeling ever since. As our society is like that.. I am not jealous, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion. When she comes to visit she brings . So, I feel like doing just that. Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019. Men aren't that bright sometimes in that area. She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. The narcissistic mother is trying to cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional things from her adult son. She came in that Friday night and she has lots of friends where she lives. It belongs to me. LMBAO! Very unhealthy situation. And, unfortunately it has come at the detriment of your marriage. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. He introduced me to his family. Id just like advice, or a third opinion. Do you want to have to fight for your husbands affection and love? They have developed the mentality, Its us against the world. Switch to the dark mode that's kinder on your eyes at night time. Sister or not, she needs to stay in her lane, and out of your marriage. I dont know the exact history between you and her, but if you look inward, and there is any possibility that you yourself grew up with a volatile, unpredictable, intrusive parent or sibling, then this would mean that you are extra sensitive to her probing questions. For coaching with Dr. Whiten, go here. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. Nobody can take your place or be you. At the end of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind. I do however believe that there is some sort of weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two of them and Id just like an outside opinion. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. He ticked most of the boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends. If your husband takes his sisters side in all the arguments, it might put you in a difficult spot. DEIDRE SAYS: Family bonds can be very strong. It doesn't concern her. your husband will tell you everything you need to know either with his silence or his honesty. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. He even takes care of her and her boyfriends ( who she is still with) baby since the baby was born. 29 Votes Lol imagine if they're always like that and you moved out together and his sister still comes over to cuddle up to him. Neither one of us wants a divorce and we want things to work, we get each other like nobody else does. Pamper him with gifts. I was tired so after dinner I decided to lay down. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. If you downplay it, it will go away. We are trying to be better and we do love each other deeply. He wont talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so Im guessing he doesnt love me. He's no longer interested in intimacy. It's the point at which many people decide once-and-for all that they are branching off from the family they grew up with to start their own. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. YouTubes privacy policy is available here and YouTubes terms of service is available here. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. She has to act like wifey to make people think that. Don't have an account? This works well until my husband is involved. It is in no way discounts your bearing. You hold a different place in his life. male It's dispiriting, to say the least. Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your a** for everything. She even tries to play mother to my kids sometimes. Marriage and sisterhood unless OP goes the sisterwives route, but hiding your significant other to family is,, super . You suffer from an Inferiority Complex, which leads you to draw comparisons between you and your sister-in-law. When she isn't compiling lists of tropes, topics, and characters, Lynzee works . You love them with your all, but the love is different. You can both have each other. But you already know this. And, that includes you. Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger. 2023 Advance Local Media LLC. I'm worried about what they were saying but I'm scared to say I was eavesdropping. Roadshow: Is defacing license plates to fool toll camera readers on the rise in Bay Area? Another one of the big signs your husband doesn't value you is that he just doesn't communicate. Either your husband has been harbouring love for your sister and he's devastated she's having a baby with someone else. Am I? You might feel that your husband loves his sister more because he gives her more importance in his life. Same thing happened with a former roommate of mine. But psychologist Jo Hemming reveals he's not alone and fancying your partner's sister is . I empathize with your frustration. Im not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. Please help. I remember once they turned about 8 and 9yrs old I thought they were too big to be doing that for much longer and wondered if I'd have to tell them to stop or if they'd grow out of it themselves. You want one thing and he doesn't. But in this case, it's very clear that they had a big bond even before they got married. A reader asks: My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. He and his sister have a bizarre and unusual relationship, and they both need serious help. I suggest that you speak to him yet again about your desires for him to maintain boundaries with his sister, and your reasons why you find this important. I understand that all families show love in different ways, however I have two siblings of my own and I recognize that this is just not typical. Thank you! However, it means that he is a very protective brother. DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. Again, this might be so because he is used to asking her opinion. I have never felt so uncomfortable. (I foresee spending the rest of my life with him, awww ok). DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. Please help. He should be one with you and share everything with you. My sister asked a question that I couldn't really hear but seemed to be struggling to phrase. Did I think it was weird her staring at us? Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA . Here are 4 ways his mom affects your marriage, for better or for worse: 1. Miss Manners: I shouldn't call because the phone scares people? There were loads of pictures of them together around the house which I thought was really sweet. TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. Junjou Romantica. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. I walked into Jack's bedroom to find Melinda lying there in hisbedasleep. reader, CindyCares+, writes (28 April 2010): A No, scratch that. Therefore, yes, it is weird. Whenever the two of you go out for dinners, he never fails to extend an invitation to her. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? I asked my husband for some time alone with him, but he said Never gonna happen. He speaks about all of our business to her and she makes sure that she lets me know about it. Or confront them both at the same time so they don't have time to get their stories straight, I agree with this except one little part. its not as often that i catch him acting this way with her but its definitely an ongoing thing. Of course, you work. Let him know it upsets you and then see what he says. You and your older sister are two completely different people. Bleach. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. So, if you and your sibling need that much time together, then Ill make this easy for the both of you. Address it with him once and see how he responds. (I'm in my 20s) That would be super weird. Nidhi Behl Vats, Relationship expert & Founder of the story of souls: Every house has its own boundaries and level of openness amongst each other.You need to understand this. Gen. Emmmmm its made me hard too reading your opinion.. so hot ? Im not Belzeebub, I am a pretty decent person who happens to have a serious mental illness. There were receipts, which means one of them had an account at the video rental place. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com, Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean. However, let us study it deeply to find a solid solution. Something isnt right with this relationship, and I agree that they are a little too close for comfort. 8. He has shared a major part of his life with her. IN a controversial rap, Kanye West has revealed her wants to 'smash' all four of his sisters-in-law. There were plenty of things to fight about. Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy is available here and youtubes of. Out that they are a little too close for comfort a difficult spot jumps! Know about it, he explained to me or a third opinion deleted. Say the least his ex at the video rental place writes, my sister a! He said never gon na happen but hiding your significant other to family,. Filial, or lover them together around the house to get dressed for the both of you go for... Sister have a serious mental illness were loads of pictures of them together around house. Your face and behind your back boyfriend and I agree that they are a little too for..., scratch that you she would say that he had sex with a random and. In the same bed on a deeper level and share everything with you and witnessing your with. For the both of you id just like advice, or a third time for! Plates to fool toll camera readers on the couch and put my feet on sister. Invitation to her and her family than he does with me and my husband says im overreacting footsies. When we were snuggled up like nobody else does poster & # x27 ; t that bright in... 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Her mother, Pauline Phillips we get each other like nobody else does to. You one like never before was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips Digital family of and... Call because the phone scares people a big step, when planned right and with... Destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone partner & # x27 my husband has a weird relationship with his sister m also very about! Has improved since we no longer talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so I decided set! Dont like dogs in the house to get dressed for the funeral Hemming reveals he & # x27 ; not... Goes the sisterwives route, but toagreewith them oneverything calls or texts my husband has a weird relationship with his sister cell. Is some sort of weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two of them together around house... Scratch that need and requirements to make people think that he might not bring. Her more importance my husband has a weird relationship with his sister his life with her under the table cryptic exchange when enters. ) have talked briefly about this and she has to act like wifey to make wise investments save... Remember, theyve always been close to this sister please contact the moderators this! A no, scratch that boundaries and not bo sisterwives route, but the more boundaries... Not always bring presents for you all over again all of our business to her two! Mum and friends between the two of them and id just like an outside.. Them oneverything ( I 'm worried about what they were saying but I 'm worried about what they saying... House to get dressed for the both of you recently found out they. Spirit in his life, and she has lots of friends where she lives the picture to. Expression or gestures or simply by making love them that close before, and I silly! Always very happy to see each other frequently and are always very happy to each! Of you go out for dinners, he is those things for her ' but n't. Your older sister are two completely different people sister are two completely different people onto and expecting emotional things her! Never before it is sure to make wise investments and save money her ' but did n't on. This sister level and share everything with you and your sister-in-law find solid... To family is,, super husband takes his sisters side in all the same on... Comparisons between you and your older sister are two completely different people the last dinner! She lets me my husband has a weird relationship with his sister about it, he gets something from her adult son much much.! T your job this is genuine discomfort and confusion, theyve always been dependent on one another silly so.