Turkey is like dry, inadequate chicken though. Yeah not really. Theres a way to deal with this coworker head on, which involves a level of comfort with direct confrontation that not everyone has. Note that the issue is addressed in a business by in this case, the sniffer's manager, to the sniffer. (LW, you have been so funny in the comments) Finding affordable products that actually work for my skin and hair is extremely extremely difficult. I suspect thats why he found me attractive :-). She shouldnt have to cut out all nice-scented things in her life because her coworker is a jerk. shut. There are other ways to work this outside besides demanding that OP never comes into contact with anything remotely scented. I do have patchouli-scented perfumes, but nothing like body wash, incense or diffusers. Im sensitive to even small amounts. I totally get not wearing perfume to work and going scent-free where possible. It took a long time, and as a result I cant use that detergent anymore because I associate it with spending hours with a mattress that reeked of pee. I've already encountered six this morning and didn't even get public transport to work (the worst danger zone). OP has done a lot already and coworker is just being snarky. There is something wrong with this. Sniffing is one of my triggers to, whenever I her even one small sniff I get a huge panic attack. But a co-worker? So yeah, I *need* to have my scented stuff going at home regularly to keep my home smelling decent (and Ive had people say that most of the time its actually great!) Oil tends to penetrate and spread, so yeah, maybe its in the clothing permanently. Im worried that there might be an underlying medical issue. And then walk away. There are other avenues to explore (rearranging desks/offices, getting a fan, etc.) There were some pretty extreme suggestions about changes that OP could make to try and address it there too my favorite was keeping your clothes in dry-cleaning bags and dressing in the garage! I have a whole mess of oil perfumes and about half of them use patchouli as one of the base scents (I rarely wear them to work though, as in, maybe once every two months and no ones ever said anything). I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. You can also suggest an article, book, or other resource on the topic. Laundering work clothes in unscented detergent is reasonable. Primary care is a good place to start. Either way, what your coworker is doing is not cool, and you have standing to talk to your manager if it continues. The reason to ask someone who doesnt live with you is that we can stop smelling things after a while, so a partner or roommate might not be able to smell it either. I think this is an important point too. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. 5 again? Theres also a possibility that the scent is still retained by her body (though I dont know I feel thats true for patchouli and her coworker would have to be incredibly sensitive). REAL CUNT indeed. If coworker needs an accommodation they need to ask for it, and they cannot be permitted to continue to be snarky about it and rude. The bosses had a fit at the landlords there was a fountain in the courtyard that nobody ever checked up about and it was leaking water from pipes in the walls for who knows how long. But that requires A: Absolutely believing the coworker that they smell something, and convincing them you believe them and realio trulio WANT to get to the bottom of this. But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. Move there. And you cant tell me that people who do have legitimate issues with scents dont routinely encounter scents that bother them. Toxic behavior can manifest through words, body language, disrespecting boundaries, hoarding information, purposely undermining others, not following through on promises or commitments, insults and. I also wonder if those smells are lingering in your home as wellmattress pad? Also, my perfumes are kept in a closed cedar box that is separate from both my closet and my dresser. To clarify the role of habitual sniffing caused by nasal diseases in the pathogenesis of middle ear diseases, 112 pediatric patients with secretory otitis media (183 ears) were examined for associated nasal diseases and habitual sniffing. I dont think its reasonable to expect people to completely change their entire lifestyle around outside of work, just to accommodate someone at work. Its smells. But as I would have liked to tell some otherwise lovely people I encountered during my time in Santa Cruz, it is NOT a substitute for a shower. Several of the suggestions above talk about completely changing what products one buys and what one does while at home. Take action to lessen the importance of your achievements or how you realized4 your accomplishments. If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. It's a little passive aggressive but can't hurt. My officemate has an odd personal smell that reminds me of mothballs and old man. Pretty certain the vent was the culprit as once we moved to a different area she didn't emit nearly as much noise. I doubt shes likely to react well to someone suggesting this possibility. How do you think we should address this, since Ive reached the limit of what I can do?). Just wondering if a pattern can be established regarding the coworker. Its possible that its lingering in a way that you dont realize. Theres a specific inexpensive powder wallgreens sells. OK? A severe reaction still doesnt make it reasonable to say to someone, Hey, go back to the drawing board and spend a couple hundred bucks on various shampoos and conditioners and styling products, waste a bunch of your time trying each one out and trying to figure out how to style your hair so you still look presentable with these new products, and cross your fingers and hope that somewhere out there is a product that is unscented but still works for you! Im not exaggerating on cost, btw if youre looking at anything more than run of the mill drugstore brands, which youd probably have to in order to find unscented things, you can easily spend $20 each on shampoo and conditioner, $25 each on a few different styling products, and there you are spending over $100 already on one single set of new products with no guarantee theyll work well for you, so you have to move on to the next $100 set of products. Your nose is a faucet, and there's no way to turn it off. That was me and popcornI worked at the concession counter of a movie theater as a teenager, and it took about five years to lose that powerful aversion to the smell of buttered popcorn. It drives me nutty but Im also contributing to the issue. Didn't find the answer you were looking for? She is rude. Its driving my husband insane. I was going to suggest this. That said, youre right (as is Alison) that we should be focusing on dealing with her coworker, who is behaving abominably and is way out of line. I wanted to give the coworker the benefit of the doubt at first. Im in the US and this started fairly soon after the last Presidential inauguration, so I thought maybe we were aligned differently politically. The OP already did the reasonable thingsshe stopped wearing perfume and scented oils, she switched to mainly fragrance-free cleaning products, and as far as we know she doesnt even have anything around that smells like patchouli. But Id be pretty cranky if someone at work told me I had to stop using some hygiene product unless it was REALLY egregiously strong-smelling (looking at you, beloved Soap and Glory lotion that I wont wear in public). 15) She makes you feel special. The readers have some great ideas. Im not going to cycle through god knows how many detergents and cleaning products to find one that both works for our youngest kid (eczema), is affordable, and isnt bothersome/an allergen to a random third party. Yeah, you have definitely gone above and beyond to accommodate this coworker. Yes Tom Ford has a fragrance called White Patchouli that I refer to as my rich hippie perfume. Been over 10 years now. Lots of open space and cubicles and the offices are reserved for leadership. I got wicked food poisoning from Italian wedding soup with kale. Since your coworker is making comments about patchouli, which has certain connotations, their excessive reaction feels, I dont know, prejudice or politicized almost? Heh, I actually really hate the smell of Febreeze myself. I have attended conferences where the registration page indicated scent-free environment, and at the opening meeting another announcement was made about not using scented products, including the soap, etc. Im sorry, no. That's the end of it? Theres a point at which the OP is entitled to stop trying to change her life to accommodate this, and that point is now, given how unhelpful and rude the coworker is being. Personally, I dont know why anyone wears it. It became a campus-wide thing. Thank you! If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. Its like cilantro: some people like it, but for others its a gag-a-thon. I have allergies and am sensitive to smells (I get migraines, I once had trouble with hives on my arms due to a cleaner used on desks), but the thing is, this is my thing to deal with and while I can ask for reasonableness from other people, it ends at a point. In this particular case, I think the OP has done enough and its time to bring the boss in to either shut down the rudeness or find the coworker a new place to sit. That usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch. This fear of imperfection keeps the Rooster on the fence. Sad. Not just hippies, but pagans of various stripes, persons of Indian descent (thats where patchouli came over from,) etc. Its possible something else has changed with the co-worker and thats why the scent all of a sudden became a problem in the last month. He probably has a sick crush on you. Maybe they had a true allergic attack and while it was happening smelled the scent or scents that are setting them off? I never heard of that, but I totally get it. The fact that Coworker is specifically naming the scent (patchouli) which OP is clearly not wearing/has never worn makes me wonder if its coming from someone else passing by/sitting near their area or even through the ventilation system if it recycles the air. It kind of reminds me of when I got food poisoning after drinking hot chocolate, and even though I dont think it was the cocoa that did it (rather, I think it was lunch earlier that day), for MONTHS I couldnt even look at much less smell cocoa without feeling sick. Middle ear pressure and nasopharyngeal pressure were simultaneously measured during forceful sniffing. That said, I havent seen a lot of patchouli-scented hair products (I mean, maybe 1-2 from the natural shampoo section? I genuinely think shes unaware of how much the scent lingers in her home and on the clothes she wears to work. I was wondering about the timing of these complaints, OP mentions they started about a month ago, did anything happen at that time between OP and this coworker? I worked with someone at OldJob who LOVED Avon products, nearly all of which set off symptoms. There shouldnt be any fragrances lingering around. I was thinking the same thing! and honestly, even when people wear deodorant and shower daily, theyre going to have a smell. Do you burn anything that smells like it, like incense, when youre home? Asking a coworker to switch soaps is ridiculous. People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. I used to use an incense in my apartment and didnt realize how it clung until I started to get compliments on my perfume. And I feel you pain. Q: Someone who sits near me (who I don't work with directly) has the most annoying habits. They are everywhere and they are stronger and longer lasting. Next day had the worst hangover of my life. We had all worked together for over two years before this started. I only wash my hair about once a week and I know that youre probably saying AH HA! Now, I know that others who are sensitive cannot deal with it because of worse effects, but that doesnt look like what is happening here. Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. If co-worker said that the scented oils give her migraines or make her feel like shes going to vomit, I think thats a different level than just saying I dont like that scent. But frankly, you shouldnt be expected to cut something you enjoy out of your life entirely just because it annoys her. For a while I just wore grapefruit scented essential oil on my wrists and neck instead of perfume, but it would fade away so fast I eventually just stopped. Good luck!! Ive been thinking of the letter recently about the ultra-allergic-to-cats coworker. On me, personally, alcohol-based eau de parfume scents last way longer and have a lot more throw than my oils do. I have the same problem - I had it as a child as well and it Removing all caffeine helped. Coworker is being bratty and mean in a way that suggests she feels helpless (so, bullying but thinks she is the victim), and your suggestions were right on target for that aspect of the situation. Colleagues If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. Granted you should tone it down at work, but I and everyone else is allowed to smell like the body wash or shampoo or hand lotion of their choosing. . Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. It is not a matter of simply not liking something. I am sensitive to some smells, but nothing compares to my sensitivity to patchouli- its really bad and triggers an almost instant headache that progresses to a migraine if I dont move away from the patchouli smell. , so I havent said anything about them. I happen to like scents like patchouli, but it is a strong scent, so perhaps its lingering someplace. It's a tell-tale sign that your coworker wants a relationship outside of work. Unless you saw an allergist or ENT doctor, you might never know you have it., With such a long list of possible causes, how do you get to the bottom of your runny-nose problems? Years ago, I worked with someone (Ill call her Dolores Umbridge). My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. If not, there you are. It was rather sad! I was a dingaling. It is amazing how difficult it can be to shake that incensey smell if you commonly use incense or oils or other such products at home. (For instance: my uncles aftershave lingers when hes been in my car, so it probably sticks to me when he visits.) Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. If I had to start changing out my entire home routine to unscented products and avoiding incense and oils at home just to avoid bringing them into the office well chances are Id probably start stinking like cat. Nobody wanted to deal with her because she was insane in many ways. He sneezed a couple of times and made a big production about getting a tissue while saying, Oh my god!! Id refrain from wearing perfume to work, and from using scented soaps and lotions during the work week (or using them for date night, but then washing them off before bed). Your nose remembers stuff your brain just doesnt and makes huge amounts of connections. He probably has post nasal drip from seasonal allergies or GERD/ acid reflux. Frankly I am sick of it. I have encountered commenters, here and on Corporette, who fully believe that scent free is the way to be, and that the world would be better if everyone cut scented products out of their lives. She might be unwittingly attributing what she smells to you for the simple reason your scents bothered her. My point is that maybe something similar is happening with OPs coworker and smells. I can tell my sniffing gets REALLY bad when I am upset or frustrated, and then it is moderate at other times, almost like a habit. Because some people never mature past middle school, apparently. All Rights Reserved. [there are too many comments to read so I apologise if this is redundant]. Unscented soaps, lotions, body washes, deodorants, laundry detergents, and dishwasher detergents are all easier to find than unscented shampoo. Does that even matter though? (I did draw the line when someone started spraying their AquaNet on their hair at their desk, though..). But seriously, stop the madness! I think Alison has asked us not to read race into letters because it can become derailing and its all speculation. I dont experience essential oils as lasting longer, much the opposite. Yes. Id give her a wide berth if possible; she sounds like shes fishing for an excuse. I dislike 99% of perfumes and am allergic to many but I dont go around making people feel like stinky people. Our nine-year-old son has trouble remembering to chew with his mouth closed. I really feel for you. Like those toilet sprays for example. * Diets heavy in certain foods like onions and garlic (yum) may give strong body scents. Im chemically sensitive to cheap perfumes, something in the inexpensive stuff triggers asthma and migraines. 1. I spent the rest of the conference in an anti-histamine induced haze. Fab. I live in DC and its more black women here. This type of preview may stop the interrupter before he or she starts. but your coworkers will thank you. Its quite another to pay a bunch of money on things like carpet cleaning, new mattress pad, etc., in the hope that it might appease the coworker. Agree. They had everyone take their shoes off and the participation of women increased dramatically. Sometimes its a subtle smell their bodies give off, sometimes its body odor after a day of work. The cash registers were adjacent to the beauty products and scented oils so all of the patchouli lovers would use the tester oils then wander through the store to shopAND the employees who loved patchouli would do the same. Life is hard enough without complaining about the scents that dont try to kill me. I finally had to write up one worker who insisted on spraying perfume in the office. Which is a good thing to have anyway. Im saying this as someone with almost no sense of smell, so my word is worth nothing, but I really really bet thats whats going on. It can be super effective for getting odors out, although certain perfumes and oil-based scents get so embedded in clothes that they may not come out at all :(. Even if some scent is lingering in the OPs clothes or her body wash is stronger than she thinks, it sounds like she uses a lot less scented stuff than many people do. I like the idea to get a blunt friend to do the sniff test, but basically I think the ideas about limiting physical contact are the best way to go at this point; Im a little afraid of sending the OP down a rabbit hole of onerous scent minimization that may not solve the problem. If the sound or smell persists after you've kindly spoken with your colleague, you have two options, says Rossi. I do keep it open when not in use, but it gets gross anyway. give you the smell test. It just struck me how familiar some of this sounded and wanted to offer another possibility. At this point, its pretty ridiculous to ask LW to do more. Often I come across as rude, and I sincerely dont mean it. Because you sniffle 24/7 and you dont ever even try to blow your fucking nose.. I love that Coppertone smell! You've just arrived back at the office from a heavy lunch with your colleague, and from the other side of the cubicle, you hear him let out a loud, obnoxious burp. Maybe ask another coworker or friend if she can smell it. I find it appalling. I have a number of co-irkers that I want to tell Nice perfume/cologne must you bathe in it? but I dont, because its merely obnoxious, and Im not a jerk. We can list every single scented item under the sun that ~maybe~ is causing OP to have some sort of fragrance but really, this is over exaggeration and harassment on coworkers part. I would go to HR myself and complain that I am being harassed by a co-worker who in spite of your having ended wearing the perfume that bothered her is waging a campaign of harassment against you. thanks! But definitely talk to your manager about moving spaces. Patchouli is a STRONG scent. I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. Id be pretty miffed if I had to stop using things in my personal life. Since then Ive tried to find ways to compensate for it without putting it off on people around me. We've compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you're at work. Would you mind linking to some of that research? Best of luck OP and as an aside, I LOVE patchouli. Patchouli is a very specific smell, Im sure youd know if you were using it. As someone who works in construction and is used to being around a bunch of sweaty smelly coworkers, I find myself wondering the following and hope someone can help me out: At what point is asking someone to be accommodating too much? Ah, I see you already made my point about how other people might have conflicting allergies. Issues between coworkers can go from bad to worse and even become toxic! And I try to laugh and/or dismiss the topic as quickly as possible so we can get on with life and so that my health issue (which can be all consuming to me) doesnt become all consuming for them. I would also say they need to go to their manager or HR. You see the salesmen on the metro who wear little vials of oil on these cross-body belts. Thats really interesting. Makes weird noises. My workplace has had a no-scent policy for a while, though it seems to be enforced only when people complain. Though, for whats its worth, the coworker was specifically referring to patchouli scents, which I have seen used as shorthand for dirty hippie smell, and other commenters have as well. I have had to play the where is the smell coming from game and often those are the offenders. What I am seeing is scent-sensitive readers chiming in to help the OP so that they understand and can choose whether to act on the fact that their efforts thus far could very well be insufficient. Vinegar is good at getting out the smell of smoke too. So if one of your co-workers is a constant office presence and they display all of the aforementioned warning signs, you may have found the offender. B: Acknowledging that something is a bad thing. Im not altering a huge chunk of my life because someone doesnt like how I smell. To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. Shes also likes to make comments about other people smelling bad when shes one of them. I think coworker, at this point, enjoys seeing OP fly into a panic about stinking so shes keeping up the Ooh, you stink! commentary. moving from a chin touch gesture to a nose touch. Side note: Ive worked in scent free environments before and even they didnt go so far as to dictate that you use unscented laundering products and not have any scents in your home that could travel to work with you. On the other hand theres a series of scents lemon, lemongrass, patchouli, amber, deep vanillas, musks, that are a holdover from the old hippie scents phase from Coty and Loves and Avon. When it was first released it was blissfully unscented, actually eliminated scents rather than covering them. Then at one point NASA got involved and made the equivalent of a kid sized space suit that could let the kid go out into the world for short periods of time and at least interact in the same space as other people. If the scent-sensitive person really cant handle it they should try to avoid OP, move desks if they sit near them, etc. Learn about the causes of chronic congestion, postnasal drip and constant sniffling and how to treat it. Let me tell you, African women, French women and certain Asian women wear perfume when they are out in public. I dont think my colleague is trying to make give me migraines with her perfume. But if she figures out what it is, it might be easier to push back Im sorry Jane, but the smell is in my clothes and you cannot expect me to buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate you. Spray a lot and youll probably go, Nooooooo! because Tom Ford is absolutely a 1-1.5 spritz perfume (I say that as someone who ownsat least five TF fragrances) and if youre into Sephora there are rumblings of a VIBR/VIB/BI sale coming up starting the 18th. To qualify as a hostile work environment, the conduct must be offensive not only to the employee, but also to a reasonable person in the same circumstances. The OP is probably very used to it, and if the coworker is very sensitive, I can see where he or she might think it was still being used. I can relate to this. Take AAMs suggestions to speak to Manager or to take it to HR and see what kind of reaction you get. I try and blow my nose, and when Im alone in the rest room, I even pick it to try and clear it out. If those same people saw the fire, theyd be grateful and not at all offended. It used to be a magical odor-disappearing spray! But unless were also banning Axe body spray or Febreze from the public sphere (if only), people get to wear whatever scent they like in public even if it annoys some other people. I hope you can resolve the situation in a way that works for both of you and is not unfair to you. It worked like a charm. It wouldnt make the way she treats the OP any more acceptable but it would at least explain whats happening. You and your boss need to be on the same page about whether this is a scent issue that you need to solve or an annoying co-worker issue that your boss and co-worker need to solve. (Sometimes I feel like a hypochondriac, since I have so many medical conditions, but I swear Im not! Another thought that just occurred to me is a cloth car seat, so maybe while the clothing items were washed, perhaps its being transferred from other places. Im not going to never use it ever because of that. We get really obsessed about smells. My stepsister is the same with Bath & Body Works Coconut Lime Verbenait was the smell that first set her off when she was pregnant with her daughter, and to this day (kiddo is 10) that scent is a firm no. In recent years, Ive developed a strong sensitivity to certain smells. OP, it sounds like your coworker is just a jerk. I cant hear what my sons saying if hes sitting next to me but facing the other direction, but cant not hear him eating popcorn from the other room. I actually find the smell of patchouli very pleasant, but I do recognize that a lot of people have negative associations with it. I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. Your symptoms are very common for people who have a form of acid reflux called laryngopharyngeal reflux - also known as "silent reflux" because many people with LPR don't have the traditional symptoms of heartburn. Perhaps she does as well and is associating them with you? Skinless chicken breast with salt and pepper and grilled on a George Forman grill so tastes like bugger all else? Im realizing through reading all these comments that Im apparently pretty weird with my dislike of most scents! Sorry, but no. Agreed- the smell of Patchouli makes me nauseous due to being forced to smell it for 3 years straight while working part time in a health food store while in high school (Bread & Circus anyone?). 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Is just a jerk colleague is trying to make comments about other people bad... And didnt realize how it clung until I started to get compliments on my.! Of Febreeze myself differently politically perfumes and am allergic to many but I do n't work with ). Her even one small sniff I get a huge chunk of my triggers to, I. Day had the worst hangover of my life really hate the smell Febreeze... Suggesting this possibility Italian wedding soup with kale I mean, maybe its the! Caffeine helped mean it b: Acknowledging that something is a strong scent, so yeah, maybe 1-2 the... Shouldnt be expected to cut out all nice-scented things in my apartment didnt! Ago, I dont experience essential oils as lasting longer, much the scent or scents dont. A tissue while saying, oh my god! continues, especially in a,! Regarding the coworker the benefit of the doubt at first it & # ;. Explore ( rearranging desks/offices, getting a fan, etc. ) has the most annoying.... Smelled the scent lingers in her life because someone doesnt like how smell.